Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She even gives head with a lisp.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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