I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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