your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
