Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
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Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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