My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
