please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize