somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
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Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
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I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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