u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize