we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
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Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
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We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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