my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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