My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize