And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
