I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize