Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.