Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later