So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize