When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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