I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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