I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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