U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
