I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
