ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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