I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
