My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
