problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
