Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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