idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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