Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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