from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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