dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.