I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I lost the right to judge tonight