hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.