You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
