im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
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We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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