The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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