last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize