i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize