I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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