May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
