I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just googled if crying burns calories
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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