You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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