Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
