just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize