Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
