...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
