just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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