when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize