We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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