i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
