there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
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I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
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Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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