mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.