Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
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Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
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Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.