just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
