Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
