addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize