I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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